Virgo Believer Pillows

"We'll run some tests: lipoprotein, electrophoresis, SGOT, antibody titration,...oh, oh. I see you're a virgo."

"You're solemates!"

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

'The dog doesn't like fishing so I'm taking the cat.'

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'I've got the inside track ... But the Devil uses the big freeway.'

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

'I have this strange feeling I'm going to discover something about psychic abilities. . . next week.'

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

"I know it's a little old-fashioned, but I'm a Capricorn, and I thought it would be romantic if I carried you over the cusp of our First House."

Meet Aron Kowalski: The only person in the USA who hasn't been abducted by aliens...

Sorcery weapon

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

"You're definitely descended from the apes. I'm descended from Adam and Eve."

"Artie, you would not believe what’s going on down there."

St. Gregory Church - We will not be undersaved.

'You seem to be in good spirits.'

"It's true - we totally have the best religion!"

'All I did was tell him his bonds were backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government.'

'What do you mean 'don't expect miracles'? Why shouldn't I expect miracles?'

New Pope.

God Shows His Love In Many Ways...

"I see water, lots of water... Oh wait. I see you suddenly realising that I'm just a mirage."

"These antidepressants should help with your natal Saturn-Pluto conjunction."

'Their different temperaments make them surprising effective as a team.'

Today will start off with an interesting twist.

"Wow! This is exactly what my horoscope predicted!"

'Where have you been all your life? Everybody knows that zero coupon bonds are the way to go!'

'If you are a Pisces, avoid driving today...

'It's the Psychic Network - they say they KNOW you've been meaning to call!'