Viral Vigilance Gifts

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

The new global mantra flag for the future

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

You can relax now.

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

Anti-Vaxer

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

'Okay - maybe we have a little problem here...'

The Covid Tail

Coronavirus dancing around an EU flag

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

Guns won't help

America is first!

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'Hacking into our system is one way to get my attention.'

"The jocks bullied me in gym class, so I erased all the data on their computers. They should know never to mess with a computer geek."

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

Ebola Clinic

"Okay, Okay... the vaccine has side effects, but at least social distancing is guaranteed."

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

"Thank you all for coming to this small enclosed space to discuss a deadly and highly communicable disease."

'I don't know what it is. It showed up right after I invented agriculture.'