Vip Party-goer Gifts

The Royal Enclosure

Sloaney Pony.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Redhead

Carioca

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Blue Haired Lady in Ballgown

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.

Christmas sweater alternatives

Leo McKern

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

"My compliments to the sommelier."

"Aperitif?"

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

"...and what do you think will happen if you do attend the party?

Down on Bourbon Street...

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"I'm terrible with names, but never fail at fingerprint, facial or voice recognition."

God save the Queen.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Are you pleased to see me or is that a vuvuzela down your trousers?"

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

"Would you like to meet Kate? She's an acceptable risk."