Vip Experiences T-Shirts

'If you would like to check out the electricity meter it's in that cupboard over there with the mops and hoover.'

La Table

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

'It's the bill for your trip to France. When you called to ask if it was okay to bathe in Champagne, I thought you meant the place.'

"Such a heavenly night I spent in your bed."

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

Carpet

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

Airplane

Football Royalty

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

'Something exotic and wildly expensive for me and a pick me up for my husband when you give him the bill.'

Heaven Has VIP

"I'll give you a few moments to recover from the prices."

Pearly Gates Queue

Having Fame and Fortune thrust upon him, Gordy is forced to advertise for an entourage.

"Very good, one bottle of selection #2815, or as we like to call it, Chateau Cash Flow."

"Usually we wouldn't let you in the sanctuary dressed in robe and sandals, but seeing as you are Jesus we will make an exception..."

Celebrity Gold

Entourage to a lesser dignitary.

Man rolls out the red carpet for Santa Claus.

"On the upside, you're only one heart attack away from reaching our platinum V.I.P. status."

Limousine Replacement Service

'The perks are terrific. We have a VIP-lounge for investment bankers.'

The Great and the Good.

Rolling out the red carpet.

"I thought I hear a motorcade."

The Royal Enclosure

Red carpet treatment

'Dunno who he is, but he's got some influence here...'

Woman with unfinished red carpet as VIP begins to walk down it