Vip Experiences T-Shirts

'If you would like to check out the electricity meter it's in that cupboard over there with the mops and hoover.'

La Table

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

'It's the bill for your trip to France. When you called to ask if it was okay to bathe in Champagne, I thought you meant the place.'

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

Carpet

"Such a heavenly night I spent in your bed."

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

Airplane

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

'Something exotic and wildly expensive for me and a pick me up for my husband when you give him the bill.'

Football Royalty

Heaven Has VIP

"I'll give you a few moments to recover from the prices."

Pearly Gates Queue

Having Fame and Fortune thrust upon him, Gordy is forced to advertise for an entourage.

"Very good, one bottle of selection #2815, or as we like to call it, Chateau Cash Flow."

"Usually we wouldn't let you in the sanctuary dressed in robe and sandals, but seeing as you are Jesus we will make an exception..."

Celebrity Gold

Entourage to a lesser dignitary.

How am I supposed to convince people to join our new loyalty rewards program for $9.95 a month? The program doesn't offer any actual rewards. The key to these programs is they make people feel special. Watch. Would you like to join our exclusive VIP Premier Exclusive Best Customer Reward Program? Or would you rather feel left out and scorned as a loser? Impossible dilemma.

Limousine Replacement Service

"On the upside, you're only one heart attack away from reaching our platinum V.I.P. status."

Man rolls out the red carpet for Santa Claus.

The Great and the Good.

'The perks are terrific. We have a VIP-lounge for investment bankers.'

'Dunno who he is, but he's got some influence here...'

Red carpet treatment

The Royal Enclosure

Rolling out the red carpet.

"I thought I hear a motorcade."