Vip Gifts

Entourage to a lesser dignitary.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"I'm naming you VP of Revolution, Action and Edgy Thinking...on one condition...that you promise not to change anything."

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

C'mon, Bob, the associate chases the manager's tail, the manager chases the VP's tail, and the VP chases my tail for me – You know how this works.

M.F. Smith, V.P.: An affable lightweight who floated to the top on sheer inoffensiveness and warm air currents.

Carpet

Ted picks the wrong day to wear his novelty tie.

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

Airplane

'I'm promoting you to Executive VP of sucking up.'

'People, my son, the new VP in charge of pizza and beer!'

"Give me insights on marketing to your age demographic...and I'll give you a bright shiny penny."

Boardroom seating etiquette - Body Odour

Football Royalty

Heaven Has VIP

'You're lazy,ruthless, arrogant and shifty - that's why I'm promoting you to Manager.'

Pearly Gates Queue

Having Fame and Fortune thrust upon him, Gordy is forced to advertise for an entourage.

'Just heard Bob made executive vice-president.'

"Usually we wouldn't let you in the sanctuary dressed in robe and sandals, but seeing as you are Jesus we will make an exception..."

Celebrity Gold

VP in charge of computer manuals.

'If you would like to check out the electricity meter it's in that cupboard over there with the mops and hoover.'

Limousine Replacement Service

How am I supposed to convince people to join our new loyalty rewards program for $9.95 a month? The program doesn't offer any actual rewards. The key to these programs is they make people feel special. Watch. Would you like to join our exclusive VIP Premier Exclusive Best Customer Reward Program? Or would you rather feel left out and scorned as a loser? Impossible dilemma.

Man rolls out the red carpet for Santa Claus.

"On the upside, you're only one heart attack away from reaching our platinum V.I.P. status."

The Great and the Good.

'The perks are terrific. We have a VIP-lounge for investment bankers.'

"What do you mean I can't enter. Do you know who I am?"