Vip Access Gifts

Airplane

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

Carpet

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

Football Royalty

Heaven Has VIP

Pearly Gates Queue

Having Fame and Fortune thrust upon him, Gordy is forced to advertise for an entourage.

"Usually we wouldn't let you in the sanctuary dressed in robe and sandals, but seeing as you are Jesus we will make an exception..."

'If you would like to check out the electricity meter it's in that cupboard over there with the mops and hoover.'

Entourage to a lesser dignitary.

"On the upside, you're only one heart attack away from reaching our platinum V.I.P. status."

Limousine Replacement Service

Man rolls out the red carpet for Santa Claus.

How am I supposed to convince people to join our new loyalty rewards program for $9.95 a month? The program doesn't offer any actual rewards. The key to these programs is they make people feel special. Watch. Would you like to join our exclusive VIP Premier Exclusive Best Customer Reward Program? Or would you rather feel left out and scorned as a loser? Impossible dilemma.

The Great and the Good.

'The perks are terrific. We have a VIP-lounge for investment bankers.'

'I don't know who it is, Sir, but I think you'd better break out the good stuff.'

Red carpet treatment

'Dunno who he is, but he's got some influence here...'

Rolling out the red carpet.

"I thought I hear a motorcade."

The Royal Enclosure

Woman with unfinished red carpet as VIP begins to walk down it

'He's in Who's Who.'

'Quick, roll up the red carpet!'

King is unable to go to the toilet without a red carpet.