Vintner's Confidant T-Shirts

Butler and his friend drinking in a cellar

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'Who's the new guy?'

'I brew it myself.'

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade wine?'

Wine: New & Old!!!

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"Barry made the wine. I made the cheese."

Wine: New and Old.

The Big Bang

"May we see something from local hydroponically grown grapes aged in casks made from non-endangered trees?"

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

'Hi, Dad! We were going to set up the lemonade stand you suggested, but then Jamie got an even better idea!'

"Of course homeworking has lots of advantages."

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

'With all the time you spend in the red, maybe you should change the name of this place to Chapter 11 Vineyards.'

'Notice the quintessential taste of Tuscany in this impressive little vintner we picked up on our last trip to Italy.'

'Somehow, somewhere, someone's skimming the profits.'

'Sure, we host weddings, anniversaries and bar mitzvahs. On occasion, we even sell some wine.'

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

"Wow, a full vat of grapes in 32 seconds! You're hired!"

"Why yes, I am a professional grape stomper...why do you ask?"