Vintage Nostalgia Lover Pillows

"Son, your grandma is dancing with Kurt Cobain now."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Cocktails on the verandah.

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Sir Winston Churchill

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

The Missing Sock Returns

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

Second hand furniture.

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Military Medals

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

Before the Internet

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Early Piety

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'Bring out yer books!'

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.