Vintage Charmers T-Shirts

Sex and the Old City

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

You're the olive in my martini

'May I have the key to your heart?'

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"It's nice to know I've still got it."

Up please...

"Hey, I don't see Harry Truman's name on the ballot!"

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

Adult filmstrips

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works

Spring Cleaning

"...and wagging your tail isn't going to get you off the hook."

"You're looking good today. Is that a new dress? By the way, I'm sure this is a mistake...maybe you can raise it to..."

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

"With a name like Barney Stone, I do real well with the ladies on Valentine's day."

"Carmen, how are you today? Wait! Don't tell me! You're as wonderful and as beautiful and charming as ever!"

Trilby - 'A-smokin' their poipes and cigyars'.

Senior Pick-Up Lines

"He's a little shy around people."

'The dog and cat followed me home, the bird flew in the window and the fish swam up the toilet. Obviously I have animal magnetism.'

'What church do YOU go to?'

You're a good looking man.

"Hot enough for you?"

'Ludgate Hill'

"Sandro! What a relief to see you up and smoldering again."

Once again her smile had failed to light up the room.

"Sure, this used to be a one horse town, but not anymore...the horse died!"

'I didn't know you could get electronic pipes too! Whatever next!'