Vintage Charmers Gifts

Sex and the Old City

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

You're the olive in my martini

'May I have the key to your heart?'

"Wait. Let it breathe."

"It's nice to know I've still got it."

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

Up please...

"Hey, I don't see Harry Truman's name on the ballot!"

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

Adult filmstrips

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

'Another confabulous breakthrough, professor.'

Spring Cleaning

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works

"Carmen, how are you today? Wait! Don't tell me! You're as wonderful and as beautiful and charming as ever!"

"...and wagging your tail isn't going to get you off the hook."

Randy, if you could be ANY superhero, which one would you be? I'd be Randy-Man. He came to earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. He's slower than a speeding bullet, because he takes his time in all things. He can change the course of a lady's evening with a single smile. I don't think The Avengers would have much use for Randy-Man.

Senior Pick-Up Lines

"You're looking good today. Is that a new dress? By the way, I'm sure this is a mistake...maybe you can raise it to..."

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

Trilby - 'A-smokin' their poipes and cigyars'.

"He's a little shy around people."

"With a name like Barney Stone, I do real well with the ladies on Valentine's day."

'The dog and cat followed me home, the bird flew in the window and the fish swam up the toilet. Obviously I have animal magnetism.'

'What church do YOU go to?'

'Ludgate Hill'

Once again her smile had failed to light up the room.

"Hot enough for you?"

You're a good looking man.

"Sandro! What a relief to see you up and smoldering again."

"Sure, this used to be a one horse town, but not anymore...the horse died!"