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A nice Chianti?

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

Redhead

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

Statue is moved to hold up the leaning tower of Pisa.

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

Wino Appreciation Group

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

"House red, sir?"

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'