Vino Devotee T-Shirts

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"Some people need a reason to enjoy wine, I just need a glass!"

In the Guru District

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Wine Lady

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Sauvignon Bonk

"Now I really hate poetry."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

Happy Hour

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

French wine

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"I make it myself!"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"