Village Defender Gifts

Bank Robber with sign - Save Our Village Post Officers

Prize vegetables.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Country Bumpkin.

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Our village cricket club' - An exciting finish to a cricket match.

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Gentrification vs Manchester...

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

"It's been a struggle for Carlos to adjust to rural life, but now he's finally been accepted as the village idiot."

"Don't even think about it!"

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

Suspicious Person Ban.

"My husband has a thing about double glazing salesmen."

Entering Clogsted.

Will give expert witness testimony for food

The Trials and Tribulations of Superheroes.

"Have you SEEN what an angry slug can do to a delphinium?"

COVID-19 in the Big Apple.

Our Village Industrial Competition.

'It's a survival trick: I'm making sure the fur-traders have no interest in my hide...'

Pest Control

'There goes the neighborhood.'

"By our estimates, it's going to take two villages to raise Joey."

'Good morning. I'm Mr Elton. Your teacher-security guard.'

'This has been taking up all of my time.'

Spring House Cleaning: Sweeping Cuts

Minature Village - 'It's amazingly lifelike - nobody lives there.'