Village Defender Gifts

Bank Robber with sign - Save Our Village Post Officers

Prize vegetables.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Country Bumpkin.

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

'Our village cricket club' - An exciting finish to a cricket match.

'How long did you try before calling?'

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Gentrification vs Manchester...

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?' Moles prepare for their assault on a newly mowed lawn

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

Entering Clogsted.

"My husband has a thing about double glazing salesmen."

"Don't even think about it!"

Suspicious Person Ban.

"It's been a struggle for Carlos to adjust to rural life, but now he's finally been accepted as the village idiot."

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

How do you keep cats out of your garden? I catch the little sneaks

Will give expert witness testimony for food

The Trials and Tribulations of Superheroes.

COVID-19 in the Big Apple.

"Have you SEEN what an angry slug can do to a delphinium?"

Our Village Industrial Competition.

Pest Control

'It's a survival trick: I'm making sure the fur-traders have no interest in my hide...'

'There goes the neighborhood.'

"By our estimates, it's going to take two villages to raise Joey."

'Good morning. I'm Mr Elton. Your teacher-security guard.'

'This has been taking up all of my time.'

Spring House Cleaning: Sweeping Cuts

Minature Village - 'It's amazingly lifelike - nobody lives there.'