Video Game Debater Gifts

'That woman...it's Nancy Pelosi.'

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

Changing Minds

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

The book is so much better than the film..

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"Wow! I never knew the Vancouver Island marmot is among the rarest animals in the world! Pretty cool, huh?"

High Tech/Low Tech.

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

The end is near. The end is nearish. I get this way every spring.

Mud Slinging

Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't

"Whoa! In 7 billion years, the sun will expand and engulf the entire planet, melting away any evidence it ever existed!"

"It's the first law of social media."

Astronomers argue theories of the Universe.

The Fortunes of War

'I grew bored just watching TV and video game violence.'

Block Lives Matter

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

'I don't get it. How can you say Leno is better than Letterman?'

'Press the red button for the 'no grunt' option...'

'Rocks don't kill people - PEOPLE kill people!'

"Every time I get out of my political silo and try to converse respectfully with someone who has differing views, I get whacked so hard I can't see straight!"

Donald Trump said he'd have run into that school shooting without a gun to stop it. I'm way ahead of you, Randy. I've already developed a first-person shooter based on the Call of Duty engine. You play Trump, all decked out in his usual black suit and red power tie. Video-game Trump has to personally take out all of America's enemies. He's armed with nothing but his uncouth tweets. Game has a bug, though. As soon as it starts, video-game Trump keeps getting deferments because of bone spurs. Call

Neoconamatron

shoe me "Star Trek: Discovery." Sigh … Must I? I have concluded that "The Orville" I superior science fiction. It adheres more faithfully to the principles of "Star Trek: The Next Generation." That's your opinion. I love "Discovery." It's great. Error. Invalid opinion detected. Load "Discovery." Is this because "Orville" has a robot and "Discovery" doesn't? Error. Snowflaky, pro-meatbag agenda detected.

Latest social media panic...

'You can take that off now.'

Donald Trump

'That sure is a realistic war game. It comes complete with cost over runs. Here's the 3rd bill for it.'

"To me, baseball is a metaphor for football."

'My client pleads not guilty by reason of too much video game violence made him do it.'

A Bold, Principled Stance

Andy Rooney: 'Ever wonder how it might affect your legacy if you get a lot internet credit for stuff you never said?'