Veterinary Practice Instructor Gifts

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

A pony throws its rider.

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

'Maybe we shouldn't have used the tail as the donor site for a skin graft.'

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

"I used to own a riding school, but business started falling off..."

'Another day another dollar Maurice, but boy do I hate kids!'

Bovine Proctology Graduation

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

'My kid is trying to get into vet school and I don't understand...

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

No, no, no! Can anyone here tell me what Mr Mosely's doing wrong?

WRONG! A veterinary school failure.

'Rectal palpation, hell! I lost my thermometer!'

'Okay, you're not pre-vets anymore....'

"It hurts when I warble."

'You're worried! What about me? I've never done this operation before!'

Pork Sausage.

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

'Now class, let's not condemn the private practitioner who first saw this case and failed to make an obvious diagnosis."

'Doctor, you've removed leg bands before, haven't you?'

'Today, students, we will discuss lameness in fish.'

'No, I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Ford and I do the large animal work....'

'Well, I've heard that you are a genius at replacing prolapses, Doc.'

"We've canceled so many technical programs. . . local business and industry is begging for trained people!"

Veterinary Management Practice Consultants

Welcome to the Society of Veterinarians Who Have Spayed Tomcats!'

'What are we going to do about these grooming parlors...'

'What the hell kind of veterinarian are you going to make...'

'They didn't cover THIS in our restraint course at Cornell!'