Vet In Training T-Shirts

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

'Bert's dog training.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

Agility God

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"A little help, please."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Have you tried biting him?"

"Don't even think about it."

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"What other tricks does he need?"

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Pet Entertainers

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'