Verdict Validator Pillows

"Before announcing our verdict, we'd like to test it on a focus group."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."

And if you press that one, somebody will come in and tell you what a great job you're doing.

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'We find the defendant guilty. Do you have a problem with that?'

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

We also find the defendant's lawyer guilty by association.

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

"And finally for the record, the clerk of the court has odds of 6-4 guilty, 2-1 not guilty..."

'We find the defendant to be TOAST.'

'We find for the defendant, but we're really not too crazy about his claim.'

"Not guilty." "My client's statement does not necessarily reflect the opinion of Hodal, Brown McClintock, and Stoddard."

"Any plaudits for me while I was out, Miss Jenkins?"

Must you be so judgmental?

"Your Honor, we, the jury, find this one too close to call."

Government Interference with Science.

'I win some, I lose some. But I always try and send the jury home in a good mood.'

'I'm sending you to Joliet for 15 years to think about what you did.'

'Yes, I robbed the bank -- but I was abused as a child by a bank teller.'

"I assume that's a 'not guilty' plea?"

Parking validation

'I'm leaning towards not leaning towards anything.'

'We find the defendant guilty of the hanky, but not the panky.'

"It would appear that we have a hung jury."

'Ah, the new pocket plaque's arrived.'

Campus. F. You wrote "As air cools, water condenses and droplets form" in your paper for civics clss? I mistakenly Googled "Dew process" when I was writing it.

"But mom, how do I know I'm having a great time if I don't get some jealous comments on Facebook?"