Verbal Sparring Champion T-Shirts

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

How some bird species determine pecking order.

'You misspelled 'Gonna' Verl. . . there's two 'n's' in it.'

"Hey buddy! Come over here and draw me something about 'Freedom of Speech!'"

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

Department de Philosophie

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

'I'm writing a letter to my parents. How many N's in money?'

A poison pen fights a poison mic.

'One pundit tonight is from a think tank, the other writes 'Books for Dummies'.'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

"I've been thinking harder than you have, and my thought experiment disproves your thought experiment."

'What do you mean, 'you can read me like a book'? You've never read a book!'

'Remind me again darling - what were we just arguing about?'

'You're on our turf, this is poet's corner.' 'It may be your corner, friend, but it's on writers block.'

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

'I say it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere.', 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

Sharp Tongue.

"Sweetie, words have the power to hurt. I'll teach you some of the most effective ones."

Spelling bee contest - 1st prise.

"Shall I fry it or flush it?"

'Let's give him a couple more minutes, but it looks like we've got ourselves a bum who can't fight his way out of a paper bag.'

Chi Kick

"You got him running scared, kid. He thinks he might actually kill you."

'I say, Addison

"In this corner, a man who describes everything as 'Orwellian.' And in this corner, a guy who loves saying 'Kafka-esque!'"

Historians' Tiff

World Ping-Pong Federation.

'I learned a new word today!'

'Sure I won the spelling bee contest, but since everyone has spell check, no one cares!'