Venting Pillows

"Just as he was starting to see things from my point of view he was declared mentally incompetent."

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Playing Fetch.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

2021

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Polly txt speak

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Police Feline Unit

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Pick me!"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

A crowd of happy pet owners.