Veggie Wit Pillows

A real turkey lunch.

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'Is this still America?'

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Taken genetic engineering too far

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'That chap really knows his onions!'

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

“Children hate me.”

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

'Look! I grew a carrot!'

The vegan hunter

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

'I'm in a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. There's not enough dirt left to grow spinach.'

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

Dreams of Spring...