Veggie Punster Pillows

First Vegetable Savings and Loan. Lettuce mushroom your cabbage! Corny.

I think Mr. Celery Head is stalking me.

"That's it. We’re toast."

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

You heard right - one large cheese pizza, and tell the driver to take it out of the box and leave it in the yard,

"It's made with real angel hair."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

Prize vegetables with rude names.

"The pompano poached in parchment is very alliterative tonight."

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

Fleas Navidad.

The vegan hunter

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Noodle exchange program.

Optometrist practical jokes

"But I ordered death by chocolate."

"Lots of people want to hold me, but no one really cares."

Ernie's the person who put the "quiz" in cuisine.

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

International Carrot Day April 4th

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

Vegan Insomnia

'Where's the cheese?'

Famous Side Dish Trials. The Cabbage Case. Now, tell the jury what happened after the chef pulled out his knife …. (Sob) It was a SLAWter!

"Here, try this anti-dandruff fertiliser my gardener recommended."