Veggie Punster Prints

"That's it. We’re toast."

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

"It's made with real angel hair."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

"The pompano poached in parchment is very alliterative tonight."

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

Prize vegetables with rude names.

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

The vegan hunter

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Noodle exchange program.

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

"But I ordered death by chocolate."

International Carrot Day April 4th

Optometrist practical jokes

Vegan Insomnia

'Where's the cheese?'

"Here, try this anti-dandruff fertiliser my gardener recommended."

Leaflet

"Processed food was his undoing. He was eating a salad sandwich in the warehouse, when a pallet of pork pies fell on him!"