Veggie Patch Investor Pillows

"Potatoes...betroot...carrots...fracking..."

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

You will always find a spot to garden

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

'Oh, not much. Well, still dabbling a bit in commodities futures.'

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

'Not a shed, just a shop.'

"I just had a terrifying glimpse into our snack."

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

The Confused Gardener

"Leftover seeds."

'I tried to tell him I didn't think it was a tomato.'

'Are these carrots organically grown?'

Weod Monath (Weed Month) The Saxon word for the month of August.

"No, there's nothing wrong. I just took a shortcut through the onions."

"Still trying to grow mushy peas,Alf?"

'I was hoping it was going to be bigger, but I'm still new to gardening.'

The cost of home grown vegetables

'You're a real cabbage patch doll! Lettuce introduce ourselves!'

'Eat the damn spinach. When you're eighteen you can have a mind of your own.'

Man labouring over vegetable patch

'looks like the lettuce is starting to bolt.'

'I never used to like brussels sprouts, but they're growing on me!'

Un-scary Scarecrow

'Do they have sprouts in heaven, Miss?'

"Sometimes I just want a nice salad."