Veggie Patch Champion Pillows

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

Prize vegetables.

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'great win, kids! Let's celebrate... My treat!!'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

"Potatoes...betroot...carrots...fracking..."

“Children hate me.”

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

The vegan hunter

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

"So I can eat better here at work."

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

"Leftover seeds."

'I tried to tell him I didn't think it was a tomato.'

The Confused Gardener

I've got lettuce, snow peas and radishes planted. Seeds. Next I'll plant beans, zucchini, leeks and chard. Plus tomatoes and basil. A lot of work for stuff no one wants to eat.

'Celebrity chef' 'Celery chef'

'Are these carrots organically grown?'

"If you don't have time to take care of everything, Sir, Mom's vegetable garden would be a good thing to let go."

Weod Monath (Weed Month) The Saxon word for the month of August.

"No, there's nothing wrong. I just took a shortcut through the onions."

"All these healthy eating edicts and chew twenty times...I'm fed up to where my back teeth used to be!"

"It's a pity I'm a vegetarian..."

'I was hoping it was going to be bigger, but I'm still new to gardening.'

'And deliver us from evil, this spinach casserole for starters.'

Esteemed Vegetables

'You're a real cabbage patch doll! Lettuce introduce ourselves!'

The cost of home grown vegetables

'Him...? Oh, that's the Carrotty Kid...'

Mom taught me stamina

"Well, there goes the neighborhood."