Vegetarian Skeptic Pillows

Joes Vegetarian Restaurant, where the chef tucks into a steak

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Please don't kill me."

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Heart Disease Menu

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

Grocery Store - Warning: Contents may be hazardous to your health

'Wait a second! This fish is made out of TOFU!'

No Dogs Allowed

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

Lite Beer.

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

'Pistachio ice cream does not cpont as a serving of greens.'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

'I'm sorry Jimmy, but the results of your tests show that you're not allergic to vegetables.'

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

'Popcorn, carrot cake, and potato chips do not count as three servings of vegetables.'

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

'Can you assure my son that you only use vegetarian sausages?'

"It's amazing what they can do with soy, but it's just not the same."

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"All right, let's admit genetically-modified foods will have an effect on people. It's fifty-fifty it'll be a good effect."

Health Foods; "When did I ever eat back pain and trigger fingers?"

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'