Vegetable Renegade T-Shirts

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

LAY ZEE FUK

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Rap-scallions

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Onion Tears

Avocado Timeline

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

'The recipe said to simmer uncovered!'

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

'Have you been using that Hairy Bikers cookbook again'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"Now, what? I'm wearing a hair net."

"She's pretty smart. She already knows enough to spit out vegetables."

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

"You said we were going to break bread, Mom. These are vegetables."

Gardener of the Year.

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

Middle Distance Runners

'I know I promised to love, honour and cherish you but I don't remember saying I'd cook for you.'