Vegetable Doubter Gifts

"Hmmm, not sure I trust that kale."

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Rap-scallions

Onion Tears

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

Avocado Timeline

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

"All those in favor of adding another 5 billion organisms to our probiotic just for the fun of it..."

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

Pumpkin Time!

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'And this is the secret of how our company gets through hard times: we grow all our own food!'

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."

'The old man's really serious about his rooftop gardening.'

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

Gardener of the Year.

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

I've learned that it doesn't do any good to slip broccoli to the dog under the table.

'Popcorn, carrot cake, and potato chips do not count as three servings of vegetables.'

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'