Vegas Lover Pillows

"He loved Vegas."

What happened in Vegas wound up on Facebook.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

The americanisation of vulture.

Lounging by the pool

"Valet park only"

Redhead

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'You only said to bring home a feather duster. You never said what kind.'

"Herb's from Texas."

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

Tyrannosaurus Tex

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

We were out of little umbrellas, so I added a bit of sunscreen!

"I could have sworn Arizona was landlocked."

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

Honestly Norman, would you relax! No one is going to rock the boat! Norman was right to have a suspicious mind.

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

Elvis Presley.

Too Much?

421AD...north east Italy

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'I was ahead the entire trip, until I took a shot at the double-or-nothing checkout option.'

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

"Yeah, but the one in Vegas has an endless shrimp buffet."