Vegan Lifestyle Gifts

"Then I said, 'So what does a lesbian vegan Wiccan do for fun?'"

"I'm only eating vegans now and honestly, I feel so much healthier."

What to serve to meet most dietary restrictions

"Go save some whales with this, you plant-eating losers."

"I warned him not to go vegan."

Investments: New - Starred Items In Your Portfolio Mean 'Suitable For Vegans'.

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"States of tofu"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

Before/After

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Vegetarian Birds

Queen of Quinoa

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

"Two vegans, please."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Is there a vegan option?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Is this still America?'

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."