Variety Show Fan Pillows

Carol Burnett

Marvo the Bird Impersonator

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"Next riddle without looking it up, can you tell me which is the routing number and which is the account?"

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

"Oh dear, how embarrassing!"

"The X files...the tooth is out there"

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

'That should be an easy act to follow.'

'Tonight - music from cat, acrobatics from cow, comedy from me - we have a great show for you - don't run away!'

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

"That's what I call an off-off-off-off-off Broadway show!"

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat.

Good Morning Britain has just achieved something previously thought impossible...by making Piers Morgan the most likeable man on screen.

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"

Executives are evaluated in Dancing With The Stars style.

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

Ostrich TV.