Vanity Observers Gifts

"Hair spray"

Camel Visits the Plastic Surgeon

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'He's wearing a toupee.'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

TV-Mirror.

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

Vanity artist

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

Narcissus

The Paper Silhouette Editor