Vanity Spectator Gifts

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"Hair spray"

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'Cosmetic surgery.'

TV-Mirror.

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

Toupee in a tin.

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'