Vampire Narrators T-Shirts

'You know better than to play with wooden stakes!'

Vlad the Impala

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

"Who's the new guy that keeps nibbling on my neck?"

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

Bram Stoker

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

Naming that Impala

'And this is scraps.'

"This mask is a bit of a passion killer. . . !"

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

"Can any of us truly see ourselves?"

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

"Look, we're three thousand years old. No one's going to hire us."

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

Finally - Prof. Brozinski found the vegetarian vampire! And he knew what to do...

'You don't look anything like Count Dracula and I should know, because he's a personal friend of mine.'

"How come Dracula's hair looked so neat if he can't look in a mirror"

And where do you think you may have come in contact with AIDS tainted blood?

'The pink squirrel's okay, but you gotta try the fuzzy navel.'

"You've been grinding your fangs."

Fresh Blood In Politics

"They're remaking the old 'Dracula' film again..."

Vampires Into Stem Cells.

Can't Count Dracula

'Dracula's First Day of School.'

Nosferatu-D2