Vampire Jesters T-Shirts

'You mean Pennsylvania, not Transylvania, don't you, Igor?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Are you seeing anybody?'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

"No one has actually ever tried it before...so apparently you CAN take it with you!"

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Now that you're awake, pack up your stuff. -Your former boss.

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

'I Love You *Conditions apply.'

'We spent the night together after he uttered those 3 little words...'Shelter-In-Place.''

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."