Value Leader Gifts

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Butterfly Woman

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Women Supporting Women!"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'