Value Explorers Gifts

"Bobby was caught imposing his values on another student."

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

You have reached the end of your brain...

Bookkeeping Club

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

'The good news is it's curable, the bad news is you can't afford it.'

'Fortunately our generation won't have to pay the huge debt. Our grandchildren will.'

'We're looking for a place with no high walls.'

'I invested in a completely new economic system for the country, but the instructions are in japanese.'

"Not too big a garden-my wife tires easily!"

Dynamic Decision Makers: Will Probably Be back in an Hour or so

'It's amazing how fast a business can go from being in the pink to in the red.'

'How about a romantic caper about two lost souls who meet and find happiness investing in mutual funds.'

The President Is Unhinged Yet We Aren't All Dead Yet and That's Kind of Amazing

Man on street selling 'Business Ethics ... $500'.

'No, that's not the diameter of an electron. It's the rate I'm currently getting on my Treasury money fund.'

The 8.05 to Wall Street.

"The economy is slowing down, last night the tooth fairy left me an iou"

"It wasn't until I discovered how much the upper one per cent were losing on dividends that I became a truly compassionate conservative."

Graduate Job Openings

Empire Building and Decline Management.

'Sometimes late at night I'm not sure the leading economic indicators know where they're going,'

Economic Experts

"Lab-grown?"

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

"What if this all isn't worth it? What if studying and reading is a big waste of time in this adventure we call life?"

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"

"I can't wait until I'm old enough to vote for a guaranteed minimum allowance."