Valentine's Lover Gifts

"I'm afraid we don't have too many openings for someone to 'smite the heart of a fair maiden'."

'You're getting a weapons AND indecent exposure charge, son!'

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Cupid paints Stop sign

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

The Thinker / The Kiss.

Mermaids in love

I can't smile without you...

'This way, we'll always have rose petals on the bed. Pretty romantic, huh?'

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

Snake Eyes

Happiness is a cuddle woolen pullover on a cold winter day.

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

Scot holding a heart.

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

"And do you promise to love, honour and be a total whore in the bedroom."

Merry Kissmas

'Are you sure you know what you're doing?'

"Remember? I was sitting right up there when you came by and said 'Hi, beautiful!'"

Foxy lady

'I got you 10 roses. I believe strong relationships are based on the metric system.'

Disraeli becomes Earl of Beaconsfield

'So now what?'

John Stuart Mill

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'I love the way you wiggle your nose when you say that.'

Rapunzel's hair comes down to suitor as a braided ladder.

The men of your dreams

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"And what if I don't want to be Jack or Ennis?"