Valentine's Day Planner Gifts

Cupid's Heart Dartboard

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Dating is so expensive...

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

'Harvey, did you notice what a beautiful full moon we have tonight?'

The Reaper's Arms

Funnel of Love

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

"I think we've had too much Wine. The cork-screw is surrendering."

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

scrabble love

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'I was so embarrassed when you tossed your y-fronts on stage.'

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

Restaurant in the Strand.

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

Romance