Valentine's Day Dodger Pillows

"Hey, what do you say we just skip Valentine's Day this year?"

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

'His last words were 'Go Dodgers!''

"You'll catch her if you're quick. She made a dash for the back door."

"Oh Johnny, I like you but not in that way. I'm a platonic solid."

'Look, I'm a goat, not an elephant. I really don't want to debate politics during the game...'

'Legal say that 'Be my Valentine' opens us up to sexual harrassment claims, they suggest 'dear individual of indeterminate or any gender would you consider accepting the role of being my person of special interest'.'

"Must be question time again."

"Pretend relationships are better than real ones."

'...and now to continue our exciting coverage of the election debate.'

I see you've been assigned to the platonic love detail this year..

'I know, but I still hate Mondays.'

A boxer fights a heart shaped punching bag.

Glass who didn't want to get involved in the argument.

'Hooray! A Christmas miracle! I suddenly went blind an can't see that mistletoe above your head!'

"So I take it you won't be going to the staff Christmas party!"

'It appears the best way to be politically correct is to be apolitical.'

"I don't want to get into a hypothetical debate about the nature of reality while I'm watching 'Bargain Hunt'. . ."

'There's nothing wrong with this campaign that a good fast-forward wouldn't fix.'

Liberation. You've removed your hypochondria mask. Is flu season over? Possibly for good. There's new research that shows that the warming of the globe is inhospitable to those @#$% flu bugs. The viruses thrive on cold weather. That might be why fly and head colds have been relatively mild. It's just wonderful. Of course, I still won't be shaking hands, or hugging, which are disgusting habits. And we'll all die when the planet overheats because we have no ozone. Are you sure you @#$ whining isn'

'My wife said it was up to me - I could come to her sister's wedding, or go to Vegas with you and the guys. Guess what I chose?'

'Two subjects are off limits here, religion and politics.'

"It came with some explanatory notes. . ."

Bill's solution the mask debate.

"I hate leg day."

'Be patient. In 15 seconds you can skip his political opinioning and move right into sports.'