Wedding Dodger Pillows

'My wife said it was up to me - I could come to her sister's wedding, or go to Vegas with you and the guys. Guess what I chose?'

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

Jenkins won't be here today. He just called in healthy.

'I said it's our wedding day you idiot!'

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

"If only you could do this in real life..."

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

"You should have been here at eight!"

'I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. would you like his voice mail?'

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

"Myra's our creative director. She fabricates emergency situations for me when client meetings go on too long."

'Ms Ferguson, weasel me out of the 315 meeting.'

"You'll catch her if you're quick. She made a dash for the back door."

'His last words were 'Go Dodgers!''

"Sorry, your meeting's been pushed back...Mr. Smith's only 2,000 from a world record!"

"Hey, what do you say we just skip Valentine's Day this year?"

"Pretend relationships are better than real ones."

'40 years and I never missed a meeting. Oh, I attended a few, but never missed not going to another!'

It can be bloody hard work to avoid the relatives at Christmas.

'We don't want to give the presentation. We don't know that much stuff.'