Vain Vibes T-Shirts

Swell who has called a police officer to pick up his umbrella rather than bend and disturb his collar

The height of fashion in 1796

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'Like many studs of my generation, I have always had a love affair with the harmonica.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

Old Book Smell

Robert Drake

Farmacy - 'I can't read your doctor's chicken scratch. I'm sure the pharmacist can, though.'

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

Breaking up with an Elvis impersonator

Islington Angels.

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

A 60's pop group

Cover Design for E Dowson's 'The Pierrot of the Minute'

An old, dancing man holding a steaming cup

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

"Kid's today!"

Interior Un-Decorator: We Help You Downsize!

"It's a wonderful story - starts with the murder of a butcher."

How can you read that comic strip Blondie? Its about a kinder, simpler time. It's about ancient history. They do the same material over and over. Exactly. I can count on it. Not like your stupid Pearls and Get fuzzy. Oooh, look how angry and edgy they are. They're sooo clever! Your whole gig is being angry and edgy. Look, I'm setting Candorville on fire.

'Do these pants come with bigger belt loops?'

Greta Thunberg wins German TV prize...

'Oooh, looks like the welcome wagon is on its way!'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Sadie, you were around in the sixties...was 'Mad Men' accurate?"

"And what do you think my husband is worth?"

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

"This CD player costs less than players selling for twice as much."