Vacation Recovery Gifts

"The first day back is always the worst."

On holiday.

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'Welcome back, Mary. How were the vacations?'

"Home is where the WiFi is."

Thank You For Not Asking If I's enjoying My First Vacation in 20 Years.

"Here we use the email term 'out of the office', not 'away lazing on a Spanish beach, without a care in the world.'"

"The holiday was a real eye opener...the crowds,the unbearable heat and noise,the chaos...and that was just at Heathrow."

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

Mommy and I are back from New Zealand. How was your trip? It was great. I got to see where the Hobbits lived. And there was green everywhere. Then we had to go. They wouldn't grant you and your mom refugee status? No. We tried Antarctica after that. We tried real hard to fit in. But the penguins just would not accept us as part of their society. Tell your mommy Trump's only going to be president for eight short years.

Excess Baggage: For many of us 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.

Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/

"I've managed to arrange cover while you're on holiday. Janet has cancelled her honeymoon and John will probably be able to have his operation next year. You just go off and enjoy yourself."

'It's good to be back, Ms. Norton.. did anything important happen while I was away?'

Lost luggage turning up on Mars.

'Life size enlargements done here.' - 'Do my pictures of the pyramids please.'

Lost Baggage - 'Do any of these look like yours?'

There's always so much catching up to do after vacation.

"You simply must tell me about that African Vacation you took!"

"Did you forget to tell anyone to water the garden while we were away?"

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home from your overseas vacation.

"It's so nice to be home, mum, and have unrestricted use of the telephone again"

"Hi, I'm the new you."

'I just needed to get away for a while and recharge my batteries.'

'but apart from that, I had a fantastic time - and the Eiffel Tower was amazing!'

"It's his first day back at work."

'I see you decided against hiring a replacement while I was on vacation.'

Very funny, but I believe the term is 'jet lag,' not 'jet hag.'

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

"I told you not to ask every b****r we met on the cruise to visit us when we got home!"

"So... how was Disneyland?"