Vacation Disaster Survivor Pillows

"Wait a minute ... this isn't my timeshare!"

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

"Back at work and ready to go-get-'em after a two-week vacation at O'Hare."

'Life size enlargements done here.' - 'Do my pictures of the pyramids please.'

Lost luggage turning up on Mars.

'My God! Isn't rain wonderful?'

'I think it's going to take a few months for me to get used to this accounting system!'

"But Darling you always wanted to swim with dolphins"

"Han stuffed himself with Kessel's fried Bantha tacos and now he's got the Kessel runs."

New Power Shower.

'Let's welcome Tina back from two weeks in Hawaii, and hope this phase passes soon.'

"Folsom's seasick, sir."

"Welcome home. Oh, and that automatic cat feeder... niiiice!"

"Holy c**p!!! That asteroid is headed straight for earth!!!"

I can't put my finger on it Philip...but since you came back from the safari you've been different.

How to deal with rude customers.

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

"How was the ski trip?"

'I'm afraid its a classic case of seaside blowback.'

This definitely qualifies as a holiday from hell.

'$1500,00 for two weeks in Florida, and nobody's even noticed my tan!'

"Do you think people had a nice time?"

'It's alright, it's only simulated sick.'

"The first day back is always the worst."

'Is it out of order or out of money?'

Excess Baggage: Airport checkpoints we'd all like to see...

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

Silver lining! It's our luggage the airline lost last year!

"How was your vacation, Betty?"

"Sorry Ma'ma, but I got caught inside a car for a few hours. I just managed to escape when they opened the window: Where am I?"

Viva Las Vegas.