Utterly Apocalyptic Adventurer Gifts

Turf War on West 49th Street

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Now you can send it."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

Shoot For The Moon

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"...it's another metal detector."

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

Astronaut

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

"Time passes much more slowly in the other dimension, so take these sudokus."

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

If you think that's good, you should see the Pork Sabre!

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

'Pity you never have learned to sail...'

LOUIE'S GARAGE, 'I can go along with replacing the carburetor and the battery, but what's this $128.43 fcor a 'new warp nacelle'?'

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

'Why are you putting laundry soap into the proton anti-matter warp drive engine?'

'What if we just cut back on our genres this year?'

"The British are probably coming, but it's been a busy week and they aren't feeling a hundred per cent and they'll text later."

The End is Nigh