Utility Bill Guru T-Shirts

'The threat of domestic terrorism isn't new. I've been paying utility bills for years.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

Why you must go to work

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

"It's a ransom note from our energy supplier!"

'If you can't beat 'em join 'em.'

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

Gas Bill

'This one's called 'unpaid electric bills'.'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

Energy Bills

Duel Fuel?

'Here, check it by processing my bill.'

High electricity consumption in the summer

'We're pleased to announce we're doing a government study to find out just who regulates the electric industry.'

'The instruments are suggesting that the heat pump is receiving a temperature of 105...what could possibly be heating the ground that much?'

Business restraining law firms

'So much for energy saving.'

Hotel: Price List

'I know it's a constant drain of electricity, but I rationalize that it also functions as a night light.'

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

Energy bills rise

Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde gets his gas bill.

Electric Rate Hikers: ZZZZZT!

'Our water bill is more than we spent on our vacation because you again left the toilet running the whole time we were away.'

Catsulation

"Daddy doesn't know where the heat, the electricity or the water comes from. Daddy knows where the money comes from."

"Hello sir - I'm from your energy supplier. . ."

"This is your energy supplier. . . We're all on holiday in Bermuda at the moment - but leave a message and we might get back to you. . ."

Saving water

TASERS...With the cost of electricity we could only afford 50 volts.