Utility Bill Guru T-Shirts

'The threat of domestic terrorism isn't new. I've been paying utility bills for years.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

Why you must go to work

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'This one's called 'unpaid electric bills'.'

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

Gas Bill

"It's a ransom note from our energy supplier!"

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

Energy Bills

Duel Fuel?

'Here, check it by processing my bill.'

High electricity consumption in the summer

'We're pleased to announce we're doing a government study to find out just who regulates the electric industry.'

'The instruments are suggesting that the heat pump is receiving a temperature of 105...what could possibly be heating the ground that much?'

Business restraining law firms

'So much for energy saving.'

Hotel: Price List

'I know it's a constant drain of electricity, but I rationalize that it also functions as a night light.'

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde gets his gas bill.

Energy bills rise

Electric Rate Hikers: ZZZZZT!

'Our water bill is more than we spent on our vacation because you again left the toilet running the whole time we were away.'

Catsulation

"Hello sir - I'm from your energy supplier. . ."

"Daddy doesn't know where the heat, the electricity or the water comes from. Daddy knows where the money comes from."

Saving water

"This is your energy supplier. . . We're all on holiday in Bermuda at the moment - but leave a message and we might get back to you. . ."

TASERS...With the cost of electricity we could only afford 50 volts.

"We'd like to name the new sewage disposal plant after you."