Utility Aficionado T-Shirts

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"He loves his leaf blower."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

A crab with a utility knife claw

CLEAR!

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

US Energy Needs.

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

Professor Freely's new alternative fuel source did have its drawbacks.

Love At First Shock

Entertainment systems

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

Utility Chic.

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Car Breast-Feeding

"My compliments to the can opener."

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

Beavers worshipping a chainsaw.

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.

Men's Prayer Group.

"To toast!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"