Utility Aficionado T-Shirts

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"He loves his leaf blower."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

CLEAR!

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

A crab with a utility knife claw

US Energy Needs.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"My compliments to the can opener."

Professor Freely's new alternative fuel source did have its drawbacks.

Utility Chic.

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

Love At First Shock

Car Breast-Feeding

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Entertainment systems

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

Beavers worshipping a chainsaw.

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"Does it come with magnets?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"To toast!"