User Experience Gifts

Hidden Facebook Features

"Do you think the UX is sufficiently unpleasant?"

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

'I don't like the looks of this ... '

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

'Artificial intelligence is overrated. We find most people prefer the user-friendly advantage of artificial stupidity.'

"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

"So what else can we get our customers to do online themselves and charge them for it?"

The Wilkersons on Vacation in Exotic Peru in the Metaverse

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

"Now, I wonder whether you'd be kind enough to complete our customer feedback survey?"

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

"Uh uh uh...that's not a touchscreen."

Buttons read - OK/Not OK/I'm OK but I still want to cancel.

"The customer is always right....the customer is ALWAYS right..."

'How can we see our service through our client's eyes?'

"Since we're about experiences and not things, I didn't bother with a ring."

"The software that some of these new start-ups are using is GROUNDBREAKING..."

"I'd like to return this mirror, its reflection looks older than I feel."

Slant On Art

'Maybe we could do something INTERACTIVE tonight?'

"The main difference is that if you mail it first class. . . we actually deliver it!"

"We've talked it over and we've decided that you must not really be a customer."

Man can't open the plastic packaging of his plastic cutter.

Information: 'Out getting more.'

"Our security cameras just caught you frowning for an instant. Would you plead take a short online survey telling us way?"

Eight Attempts at remembering PIN or less.

'If you've got a complaint, please press 1. If we can help you to find something to complain about, please press 2.'

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

10-Minute Oil Change and 2-Hour Wait.