Urgent Grooming Lover Pillows

"Can you just give me a quick trim?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"Be creative...!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Emergency Hipster Beard

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Dating is so expensive...

"Absolutely not!"

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

Movember

The Cat Spa

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"Nice haircut."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"So, how do you want it?"

Hair Traffic control.

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

The day wasps discovered there's something about an Aqua Velva Man.

The Organic

'Doris,I told you not to use that sweet smelling Hair spray.'

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.