Urban Wildlife Observing T-Shirts

"That is one incredibly fast and freaked-out squirrel."

Bitchbark Canoe

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Swan Fairy Tales

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"Look, a bug!"

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Bears catching fish

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

How about going easy on the carbs

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

So you're a mocking bird...

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

"This is Blackjack, come in Yahtzee."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

Endangered Species: Belgian Ostrich.

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

Monkeys/Humans in the zoo.

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

'I don't mind being caught,it's that kissing I hate.'