Urban Birdwatcher T-Shirts

"It's a sublet and it's fabulous."

'You spoil those pigeons.'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Children's Parties

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Intelligent people laugh too!

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

Endangered wildlife 'Lost' posters stuck on trees surrounded by rubbish

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

Scene of seagull troops about to charge a picnic.

"Two vegans, please."

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Bird Torture.

'I really think we took a wrong turn.'

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'Well, we always go to the same place for our holidays, so yes, we kind of migrate too...'

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

"Honestly, sweetheart, you're not like the others I've been out with."